Hello and Introduction: Unveiling the Podcast and Me

Transcript

0:01

Welcome to my first episode of Healed, Unlock Solutions for Sexual Trauma. I am Ishala Wayshower, and here we are unlocking solutions for sexual trauma and also taking out the taboo of this subject. Statistically, it is said that one in two girls and one in four boys will experience some kind of sexual trauma in their childhood. Now, if you haven't come across that before and you feel shocked by that, somehow I'm not shocked. I think that talking about sexual trauma and sexual abuse is still such a taboo subject when so many of us have gone through it, is madness. This is the real pandemic here, and I'm really stepping forward. As a testament of my own healing journey to be able to create and hold a safe space where we can unlock all of these layers that happen with sexual trauma. Because we know that it doesn't just impact us physically, it has this long lasting knock on impact across every aspect of our lives. And it's this that I want to talk to, and as we go through this podcast and as the episodes unfold, we're really going to be talking about pathways to heal. And I'm talking about really healing. I'm not talking about giving you strategies if you feel triggered. I'm not telling you how to cope in certain scenarios and situations. I'm talking about completely. Resolving the trauma that you hold body, mind, and soul. And it really is a body, mind, and soul issue. We need to be looking at all of these aspects. And I know there are certain therapies out there that are holistic in nature, but it's often the way that we. Go through the path, the first step is usually going to a counsellor or some kind of therapist. Now, I have heard so many stories and maybe this is your experience as well, that finally you have the courage to step in and to start looking to heal this and maybe it's a wound that you've carried from childhood and you've never really spoken to anyone about it. Or, like me, had repressed memories all of a sudden bubble up to the surface and completely implode your life. And that's going to be a brilliant episode that I can't wait to share with you all about why we have repressed memories, how that works. How it impacts us, what happens in our nervous system and, and why does that not get filed in our memory bank? These are some of the things that I really want to talk about, less about stories, even though your story is super important, as is mine, and I will be sharing with you certain aspects of my story that. It's going to be helpful to inspire you to know that if I have healed from the depths of the darkness. That I am no longer triggered, that I am able to hold boundaries, that I do not hold the shame and the guilt. Mind, my body and my soul have found peace. I want to be able to share that roadmap with you and this is why this podcast has been birthed. I think one of the biggest questions that people ask is why did it happen to me? And it won't matter if it's through childhood abuse or if it's more recent as an adult that you have experienced sexual trauma. We are still asking why, why did this happen to me? On this journey that I want to take with you by sharing and offering the wisdom that I have gained over the last 15 years of tried and tested techniques that I know are going to help you and how to avoid the pitfalls of That I also have taken and fallen into through sharing the wisdom that I hold and the experiences that I've gone through to give you the roadmap that no matter where you are on your journey, whether you're beginning, you're healing, or you've spent years and years trying to find the solution, maybe you've even given up. And I hope. That this finds you and maybe somebody in your family hears this and passes it on to you, but know that I am here to hold your hand and there is no judgment here. Oh my gosh, judgment's going to be a great episode. I can't wait for that one. Because again, this is unlocking the taboos. Fuck it, literally, even the word fuck, like how many times do we use it? This toxicity. That permeates our sexuality, no matter how young, has got to stop. It starts with us. It starts with having these conversations. It starts with giving you a true blueprint of how to heal, because we're not survivors and we're not victims. It is just a chapter of our story, it's just a chapter of our life story, and it's a big chapter, and it's life defining, but it doesn't have to be a life sentence, and this is where we come around belief systems, there are so many things that we have been told wasn't possible, that I know when you are feeling the burden and the weight of what's happened to you, and especially if you have tried so many things and poured your money, your heart, your soul, your time and your energy in finding a solution. Come with me on this journey and I promise you solutions and maybe. It's gonna test your belief system and it's going to ask you to have trust and faith in yourself and your own abilities because you are more than your experience. So who is this podcast for? It's for anyone that wants to understand sexual trauma, sexual abuse. It is mainly for you. If you have experienced sexual trauma or childhood abuse and you're seeking a pathway to heal. If I can take all of the years experiences that I have tried and tested and failed, the blood, sweat and tears, and just pull out those little gems of wisdom, those pearls of wisdom. the gold nuggets and offer them to you, then I know that the journey has been worth it. Because you know that it takes time. an immense amount of courage. It takes a bucket load of faith and sometimes it just takes sheer stubbornness to say, no, this isn't my life. I am not accepting this life sentence. And with that conviction, find a pathway through. Now, who am I? If you're hearing my voice for the first time, you could probably hear that I've got an Australian twang. I've lived in UK for a very long time and it wasn't until I got to my 30s and I accessed the first memories of being abused as a child, did I realize that I Lived on the other side of the world for a reason. And I'm not going to dive deeply into story time because our stories are important. Your story is important. It's part of who we are, but it's not getting attached to the story. The story is supposed to just be one chapter of our lives. And I know we get stuck in the story, we get stuck in what happened to us, and I get it. I totally get it. And again, I can't wait to be sharing more strategies, processes, tools and techniques, how you can unlock that and unwind that story and just create and dedicate one chapter of your life and move on. If you've experienced sexual abuse, childhood trauma, it takes a lot to step forward to publicly share, let alone share within maybe a relationship or family or with friends. This is the testament of my own healing journey that I'm stepping in to share not only my story, but also create a safe space for other people to step in. My intention for the podcast isn't to invite lots of people to share their stories. It's really about how we move and unlock the solutions. So stories can be really important when we need to. know the depths of the darkness someone has been to and how they've found their way through it, how they now living a life full of joy and freedom and playfulness, knowing that they may have had months in bed with depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts. And now actually that doesn't play any role in their life. So that's where stories become really important, but as an abuse survivor and understanding how we operate mind, body, and soul, we need to understand how. When we listen to other people's stories, or even when we speak at how it's impacting us, a lot of times this is where we can get triggered and it can take us back to a time and a place where we feel unsafe. I know for myself, there are many times that if there was somebody sharing a story about their own trauma, That I would have to make sure that I felt grounded and stable, mind, body, and soul to listen to that story in case there was something that was shared that would trigger me. So I had the resources to move through and process whatever that trigger was. There is a delicate balance when we are sharing stories, and it's important to understand why we're sharing these stories and What purpose is it serving? Back to my story, first accessing memories of being sexually abused by my father as a child. And then when they came up to the surface, I stuffed them all backed out. I didn't have a strategy to really process them and heal. And even though I already had been in therapy and working with a psychotherapist for many years. There was an idea based on my reactions and my beliefs around some of my patterns of being in relationship and intimacy that there was a strong possibility that I'd been abused as a child. But by who and where and when was a mystery. At the time that the memory surfaced, I was in the process of selling up my London life and moving back to Australia. So I didn't really feel like it was the right time to unpack this and look at what it was. And the other key point to this was that I had the courage to share what I had remembered with a friend of mine in Australia. And that conversation didn't go the way that I had anticipated. And I don't think that I had thought it through. It was so shocking. And of course, having a good friendship, I wanted to share going, Oh my God, can you believe this? And her advice to me was to forget about it. It was something that happened in your childhood and no good would come of bringing that up to the surface. So I heeded her advice. Now, over time as I've gone through my own healing journey and gone on to support others to heal from sexual trauma and abuse, I now realize that, that this must have been part of her story and her strategy, and she did not want to open that Pandora's box. So it was best if I didn't go there and we never spoke about it again. Fast forward in time where I'm now married and it's New Year's Eve, the memories came in like a tidal wave and I could not stop it. And it was from here that. I then went back into therapy and started to look for ways to heal, and you would think that is the end of the story, however, fast forward a few more years and Pandora's box was yet to explode. And there was a sequence of events where I then uncovered that actually the abuse at A teaching, it was to get me ready for something much bigger. And Pandora's box is really understanding that I was a traffic child, that I was abused, as I say, by the hands of many, with other children. What is known as the satanic cult or satanic ritual abuse is my story. Satanic ritual abuse. Is violating your mind, body, and soul. So to be sitting here sharing with you a blueprint, how to heal, whether it's from sexual violence, childhood abuse. Or some other form of sexual trauma. I've got you. I remember working with a client of mine who was in her forties and it's the first time that she was accessing her memories around abuse and I know that she felt deeply uncomfortable talking about. The specific details, how I explained it to her, and depending on your age, you may or may not know the movie of Crocodile Dundee, and there's a particular scene in Crocodile Dundee to Which, I think is a movie from the nineties, and he's in New York as this Bushman from Australia and he goes to get mugged with someone with a flick knife. And he turns around and says, that's not a knife. This is a knife and brings out his machete. So the relevance for that is not to minimize anybody else's trauma, but to say that. I have been to the darkest depths of hell. Not only am I here, not only have I lived, not only have I survived to tell the tale, I am here as a guiding light for anyone else. that wants to heal from trauma, specifically sexual trauma. If you want to reach out to me, you can go to my website, which is aisharlowayshower. com. And I look forward to sharing more episodes on healed, unlocking solutions for sexual trauma. Leaving you with a reminder, you are more magnificent than you think. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are courageous. You are brave, you are light, and you are filled with unlimited possibility. Much love.